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Why I Cheated On My Guy

I met my soon-to-be husband about three years ago at my place of employment. We were co-workers, and when I think about it, it’s kind of cute how we hooked up. I was just coming back into town from visiting a male friend. Upon my arrival, my guy had approached me and told me that he had missed me while I was away. I thought this was cute because we had never talked, only flirted for a whole year and now he was talking to me. So anyway, we chitchatted for a while and then he asked me out. I said yes, but to be truthful I was already evolved with someone. My boyfriend at the time was what you would call a, "bad boy.” He had got arrested several weeks earlier and had been sent to jail, but we never officially broke up. I was in love with my boyfriend. We were childhood sweethearts and I have never loved anyone like I loved him. So back to the story, I accepted the invitation to go out with this co-worker and we had a good time. I fell in love with him, and I forgot all about my boyfriend in jail. I figured it would never have worked out anyway, he would understand why I moved on, and besides, he had never asked me to wait for him. 

So I started dating this new guy, we moved in together and we even had a child together. Our life is seemingly perfect. We have our disagreements, but what couple doesn't? Anyway, my old boyfriend got out of jail and I ran into him because I was in the old neighborhood. When I saw him, it was like we had never been apart from each other. I was in love with him all over again. I hugged him, and he hugged back. We did not want to let each other go. When I told him what I had been doing the last year he was crushed, but he understood. I thought that was the end of that, but I kept in touch with him, and I would go to see him. I would say it was just friendly, but I know why I was really doing it, I loved him and I was addicted to him. Finally, on one of our brief meetings he told me that he still loved me, and missed me. I told him that I loved him to. We kissed and we had sex. It was what I had been waiting for; it was just like I remember it. Feeling him touch me and stroke my skin made me not want to ever leave him again. I did leave though, home to my fiancé, my kid and my other life. I guess I still had feelings for my ex that I should have resolved before I jumped into another relationship. I was being selfish and only cared about what I wanted. My fiancé does not beat me, he is not mean to me, he loves me and I think I love him, but I love my ex too. So now, I am loving two men but I am scheduled to marry one in less than six months. I can't even honestly say that I won’t do it again.

T. J.

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